My uni bed is uncomfortable

Well lets put it this way...I just feel like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

Like I go to sleep on my uni bed and feel so uncomfortable, the springs are screaming get the fuck off me and I'm forcing myself onto them acting like 'this is the life n****' no.

Lectures are an hour long, or even longer. I couldn't stand sitting watching a teacher talk for 45 minutes let alone this. Everything sounds either too patronising or too complex. Expectations are okay but today made me just give my brain an ultimatum man. I am not calm at all and I will just let it out on this because lets face it who can I talk to about such shit like this.

Day after day I think to myself...I'll get used to it, it'll get better...I will settle.

Yeah if I believe in potential.

I feel drained all the time. My mind is running constantly like a computer monitor and if you don't shut me off I will keep running and running all day until I overheat ...and then there comes a point when I burn my insides out. No fan can cool that shit down.

I'm a person to get up and go. I can't sit still, I have to be questioned and challenged and you have to keep my engaged. I piss on the word 'passive' and my attention span is 0.

Okay wow ffs I'm just moaning let me stop.

Today something did inspire me...

came across this one individual who said

'If you believe in something enough then there shouldn't be a plan b'

I liked that. You can question it, but I like it alot.
When you look at him you saw, black clothes, Jordans, beats and a chain.

I saw past that. Fuck the music, the Kanye West on the wall and his speakers. I wanna know why was he so eager to share this. They thought we just read his book but I only got the Illustrator.
It was a mask and I don't know why but everything he said was too generic, there was more and I can now only wonder to think what's to him.

He was cool. I know he wasn't fond of me. But that's cool, it only made me question him further.

Jollof rice is really nice

Hahahah So I just sat and watched the last episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, drama drama. Kenya Moore really is a character man, she just doesn’t know it.

Now I like to think it’s time to summarise my day. Well, behold...

I woke up late, then found I am going to the hairdressers with my sister, bought a costa, came home, went out again, walked ages, had a ice lolly, looked for food, couldn’t find any after being in both Tesco’s, then oh my gosh there it was, the most amazing place I have ever seen (within my 5 mile radius).

There were dark stairs on the left of a path that lead you to the bus stop. Everyone ignores it, until now. So I nervously walked up the stairs to find this was some hidden African restaurant. Inside me I had a feeling of anger, why had no one told me about this place before? Why now? God gave me a reason to not buy anything from Tesco I assure you. I stood at the bar and contemplated the idea of purchasing something. But this was before going to Tesco.

Anyway enough talk. We entered then, the second time to collect the food Nabila had ordered to take away. We then came to the conclusion that we were hungry, we are stood at this place, knowing they provide good quality food, so why not.

Oh I observed. The floor was dark tiles with tiny shards of glass that twinkled in the dim lighting. Spotlights organised in rows on the ceiling, the bar was framed in carved wood, almost like a Tudor timber frame was running throughout the whole interior. Mirrors were placed on every wall just to enhance this magical setting. Dark rectangular tables surrounded you with seats of 4 or 6. Ahead, two hot trolleys of buffet food waiting to be eaten. TV screens on parallel sides celebrating Congo music. The bar was naturally lit, shelves of Amaretto, Malibu, Vodka you name it, it was there, glasses from all shapes and sizes stood in rows. Innocent boxes of fruit juice stood side by side some Tequila.  It was beautiful.

I was told it livens up at 7 onwards. We went in around 6, it was empty and made me feel the same. One man was at a table with four bottles of Guinness under his chin. He was having a good time though. Ah, I cannot get over how beautiful it was. I admired that place so much, I can’t even put into words you know. It was beautiful. I ordered chicken and Jollof rice with a fruit cocktail. The cock tail...was hinted with coconut water and infused with juices, succulent pieces of grape, apple, pineapple, oh lord! I was blessed.

The meal was beautiful, I wish I can go there again just to re-live that moment, only this time with more people, I knew the floor was made for people to not just walk over it, but to dance on it. I spotted speakers dotted around the room. Yeah, that would be real thing right there. Oh it was so cool, temperature wise. I love that.

I admire that culture, every culture has its negatives I know, but to see that I’d forget everything and just celebrate it with my whole heart.

Damn.