Asma's Room ft reflecting - Big Driis remix

If I said I am content with everything in life right now I'd be lying, so instead I shall say I think I am very aware of my desperation to bring some changes into my life.

It sounds dramatic, but I believe the changes will be dramatic and therefore I won't go back and change what I have just said. Enough waffling.

I came home for the Easter break as any normal person would do. Ofcourse I missed my family very much, considering moving to university means you reply on conversing with friends and total strangers most of the time. Being at home just means you can have that comfortable feeling again, that feeling where you can be lazy without feeling guilty. All my work is now complete, I just hope that I go back to some good grades in recognition of my hard work. I'm not even being cocky, it's the pure fact that I put my heart and soul into my work, whether that was a small feature or a 2,500 word count.

It's kinda hard to come home and just go on about university and the things that come with it. Firstly, the educative side then the social side and then the personal side. As a 19 year old, I feel a little more independent because you understand that not only are you more of an adult, you have to be wise with your energy. Nah, I'm not trying to say my knees are getting weaker but just on the whole I do feel like I am getting exhausted pretty quickly. Especially when you know fully well that you haven't settled anywhere yet.

Getting into university was amazing. It's just when you come home you realize there are still strings attached. You aren't away yet. Not at all. Basically being away from home is just a physical reminder that I am moving forward so the flip side is, being at home is a emotional reminder that I really ain't.

On that note, it's only wise to think positive. I have never said that in my life to be fair, I dislike the word 'positive' very much because it's like you're masquerading what you truly feel. So let me re-phrase. It's only wise to think realistically. 

This means keep myself busy and continue to build on the blocks that I can see before me.

*looks out the window and laughs*

It's just funny because I know exactly what I was doing this time last year and what an emotional waste. People say you can look back on your past and learn from your mistakes but I don't believe in that...I believe you don't learn...in fact you recognize. You recognize that you have changed. Changed for the better.

Idris Elba is now a father to Winston Elba who was born yesterday. Just thought i'd slip that in because it actually made me so happy. Like really happy...isn't that weird? Isn't it weird that someone who doesn't even know you can make you happy and they have no idea. haha.