Perhaps patriarchy doesn't play a huge part in modern families in Britain. But, it exists. With consideration to traditional home values in our South Asian culture it's twisting and turning every so slightly in Britain. Western ideas have indeed awoken new paths for women such as, working, breaking the breadwinner stereotype and smashing the glass ceiling and thriving from factors like education. Women like Nawal El Saadawi and Monica Ali exist, but I want to focus on a woman that I am very much connected to.
And here I turn to my mother. She flew to the UK at 14 with no understanding of the English language let alone the Western dress code.
Tailoring is also one of her passions and here she is stood at the age of 20, representing 70's print with her brother.
My granddad, her father, migrated to West Ham to work and earn to give back to his family in Pakistan. But, he later thought it was wise to introduce his family to Britain and arranged for them to move here; this was convenient financially and socially. My grandfather, an orphan, wanted to make a change. He built a mosque himself and decided to travel the world. From Germany, Switzerland, Holland, France, Spain, Ghana, America, India, Saudi Arabia, Bangladesh and of course Pakistan.
Back to my mother. She dropped out of education at the age of 16, cared for my Nan at home whilst her two brothers worked and earned money alongside my granddad. Then she got married and 5 years later, me, I, yes the one and only was born.
Leave me alone. Clearly I stuck to my individualism from a very young age.
The first four years of my life consisted of wearing dungarees, watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and learning how to say "Michael Schumacher" without stuttering.
After having four more siblings, life became hectic and family came first no matter what for my mother.
"What did you want to be when you were older?"
"I dreamed of becoming a doctor ever since I can remember. But y'know..." she laughed "life happened."
I love hearing that sentence, I know it didn't happen but it's the dream that brings a silly smile on my face.
Why I'm proud of her?
Well...I love seeing her doing something for herself. She's so selfless it sometimes breaks my heart to think she doesn't have any leisure time! But when she does...it brings me so much joy! Like, seeing her drive! That's more independence than the average Arab princess in the Middle East.
Today I looked into her eyes and said "come let's drive somewhere."
Her face screamed, no. But I like to think persuading, motivating and luring are my biggest strengths. So, I didn't give up and hell yeah we sat in her car. I was ready. I knew she felt the rush. The kids are at school and it's just me and her. Freedom baby! Engine started, windows down, sun, songs and smiles. That was it. But it gave me great pleasure to push her towards independence. You have to break boundaries. She was alive. That's the beauty of freedom.
So yeah, fuck you patriarchy. My mother drove on the open roads of kuffar Britain, wearing bright colours and shat rainbows on every stereotype that poisoned her independence.
What a woman.
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