Central London on my ones

13/05/2014

Sat on a bench in Hyde Park with the bipolar weather giving me sweats every two minutes in my Ted Baker coat.
Being careful not to sit in a sneaky puddle.

My boots are resting in the slightly pebbled path and I can feel my toes getting wet. Foreign people, actually German people walking past, the litter picker in his khaki hat walks past me. A group of eleven hench men following the path I front of me, 'ballers' I guess. And a Spanish nuclear family watching their three year old chase a squirrel round the trees. A modern looking scouts group on my left having a piggy back race and I hear a leash behind me.

Suitcases scrape as four girls walk past, their faces screaming 'i'm fucking jet-lagged'. 

Oh it's a sausage dog. There's a theme of holding big umbrellas if you're wearing a suit. And if you're not wearing a suit you're looked up and down like a dog.

All I wanted was a piss, I walked into Everbean, a cafe, that's a five minute walk from the Albemarle Gallery. That's were I was today. I was eager to visit Okafor's portrait exhibition. Stunning detail and marble floors only followed by glares and botched noses.

A typical middle class man walked in and the man at reception walked over to him only to ask if he was alright. He informed him about the gallery, the artist's history and handed him an A4 paper that listed all the portraits one by one.

Did I get one? Nah. Two women, both black walked in. Did they get one? Nah.

I think I wasn't dressed appropriately. Perhaps if I bought a blazer and some heels it would have done the trick. Or if I walked in with Gucci shades and a LV scarf. Maybe if I walked in with an Arab dad, or a white friend. Perhaps if my hair was permed straight and I spoke Queen's English. I should have done that really.

Throughout the whole day I had one conversation. One. The lovely lady without judgement asked me if I needed help. This was in the Fine Art building bear New Bond Street I think. I'm talking like I know the place. I walked past LV, Fendi, Chanel, I could go on. Audi, Ferrari and every logo. The Chalet bar, Starbucks, Pret, Eat, men, women, dogs, taxis, cabs, Bentleys, German whips. English, foreign. Italian, Arab, French, German, Iranian, Dutch, Thai Embassy. streets, grunge.

Well I pictured most of it. I am now in Hyde Park. Where there's a diversity. You need diversity. Well I need it cos I've had enough of people looking at me head to toe.

Chavs, now walk past, I quietly type cos lord knows if my phone gets taken I may just turn Solange on their asses and there is no CCTV to back me up. I'm empty inside. My belly is full of coffee and thoughts. I'm feeling really weird, like I've just fell in a pit.

It's called a thought hurricane and a storm of reflection. Damn I'm hungry.

Income v Charity

So, just like every normal student who has nothing to do in their free time I started looking for jobs, left right and center and didn't get one single reply. This lasted for about a month and a half, I applied for internships stretching all the way to London as well as retail jobs in my local city center. Thing is, my mind couldn't take it no more. The efforts of going through application after application and you're sat waiting for some random Sarah to ring/e-mail you sending her regards? just no.

The need for money is always there, as a young woman its a priority to make money because I think it's part of being independent at my age. I then turned my back on money and started to think about charity. Yes, you're now thinking...that's not money. Well fuck money. If they don't want me i'm sure there's other people out there that do. I thought long and hard about the long term effects of charity work in the UK and how they influence the conditions which we see on a regular basis on television advertisements. Seeing the news about Gaza and feeling hopeless started to annoy me. So, I did the one thing I could. I simply walked into an Oxfam shop and said "I'm all yours."

From an uneducated perspective, you'd think I'm simply doing what every other retail assistant is doing but for free. Nah, I think it's much bigger than that. I feel good knowing that I'm not just helping, but i'm donating hours of my time to go towards those in need. Living in a MEDC I believe we have everything at our fingertips no matter what the struggle. Benefits, loans what have you. I am just another impatient student who needs money as a means of immediate gratification. I know I need money to get by, but I broadened my horizons and thought I am a university student. My education is the passport to a future career, but for now I could possibly save lives in countries that need it more than me. 

I chose Oxfam because I trust it. Their work isn't a 3minute advert between Come Dine With Me.

They contribute towards girls' education in Pakistan which combats the problem of gender inequality and equal rights. A challenge that my own mother faced. Also they have concentrated on midwives in Ghana, they've helped distribute tissue, water and soap to prevent diseases in Kenya and they continue to promise change in many other countries in crisis.

Money comes and goes. I hope to have a stable future once I have completed my degree. So, being part of a charity and knowing I can impact other people's future's for the better is a blessing.