It's Christmas Eve and I need wifi

It's Christmas Eve. 

Yes, that's me in the corner...everyone stared at me as I took a selfie with the brass band. 

I'm at Liverpool street station, paranoid, as an announcement just blared "this is an emergency evacuate immediately." 

I thought of bombs, death, the end was nigh! Wallahi I was bricking it.

Yep, no one moved. So with the great advantage of having little legs I scurried up the stairs, yes stairs not the escalator. In fear of being "the" news as opposed to presenting the news in future. (Yes I still hold onto that dream.) 

As I step foot outside I'm happy as my lungs are breathing in fresh air and I'm ecstatic as I'm spoilt for choice! Costa or McD's lol. It's not food that I'm after, I WANT WIFI. We are a week away from 2015 and there's no fucking WIFI! Are you dumb?! I-cloud is a disloyal bitch.

I decided to perch up beside Costa, not going in as I have two sorry pounds in my pocket lol. And besides its just a drop in, no seats. I look into the station and people are slowly starting to go inside ...hmm maybe the emergency wasn't an emergency after all. 

I'm still paranoid.

BUT I have an EMERGENCY, CAN SOMEONE hear me OUT PLEASE? I NEED WIFI. 

No I don't have credit. No I'm not on contract. And yes I'm still that bitch who uses pay as you go because funnily enough I'm comfortable with that, ALRIGHT? 

Yes as you can tell I'm bloody fuming. I'm an hour early. Clearly I'm very eager to see Simone. 

PJ:(Drita it's just a joke don't wack me)

My glasses are sliding down my nose, I haven't mastered the gravitational pull on them just yet, because I actually wear contacts on a daily basis. But guess what I decided to do with them? Yes, I decided to peel them off my eyeballs that one day I did an all-nighter in the library. My eyes were dry as fuck okay and when that happens I get a headache. So yeah, I took them out and admired the way they dried up to a crisp. 

Now you can understand why I'm single. It all makes sense. I'm actually a mess. 

(No Santa I don't want a match.com login thank you, I'm perfectly fine I was js.)

I woke up at 6 okay. So don't question anything you have just read, just know that I'm pissed off. Sat in Liverpool St Station with no wifi. My hands stinking of  bloody M&S handmade salt and vinegar crisps that I bought for 89p (89% of which was VAT and air). I'm sat on a metal bench so my bum feels like it's wet. Every time I look up an old man stares right back. There's a group of toffs tooting brass instruments to Christmas classics I.e jingle bells. So in conclusion everyone's having a merry fucking Christmas as I sit with my mini suitcase, twitching my nose and frowning as I question my sanity on this smooth morning of Christmas Eve. 

Anyhow, I wish everyone a very merry Christmas and a happy new year motherfuckers! X 

I just had to get this Ted Baker coat

Arriva Bus- 02.42pm:

So as I arrived at the bus stop there was a man eating a chicken and bacon sandwich, he asked me what the time was and I said 2.13, the bus was due in just over 10 minutes.

Great having to share breathing space with a man who likes to eat when he talks and cough without covering his mouth. Then I started doing my usual analyzing of my surroundings..I predicted a school boy would get off the bus stop opposite me and then take a trip to the chicken shop..and I was right, I smiled at my own little success. Anyway as I stared down the road, every single vehicle in the world approached.. a helicopter flew over even a JCB truck, but no bus. I then realized I was sighing every two minutes, no wonder the man kept staring at me. I am in the juggernaught of a bus right now, it is trembling my brain cells and I hope I have enough to last me hopping today. I need to find a black Parker coat with a fur hood, you have no idea how hard that is. I await a text from mevish as I was running so late. Was supposed to make CMK for half 2 and it is utterly half two. Oh dear, the curse of colour people time has got to me. The girl sat in front of me is wearing exactly what i need but hers is a chav version as I can smell Charlie Red and her roots are dyed red. Just checked whether I was sat in the disabled seats, I always have a habit of doing that, I don't intend to, I just feel like I need medical advice sometimes. Hahah how can I say that? Okay I am thirsty my throat is dry with tobacco residue that was dancing in the bus shelter. Yep just went past Maria's Fish Bar, nearly there, hopefully it shall be a blessed day. I just spotted a woman with reflective pink trainers. Okay now I pray hard that it's a good day. 

Home- 09.48pm: it was a good day!