I am TalkTalk you are Lebara

Perhaps this issue doesn't bother you, well this is something that certainly gets on my nerves. And I applaud you if you can relate...

Ever sat in a room, whether its a classroom, a social group, any group really where someone asks a question that you know the answer to...but you don't want to say it.

I'm a loud mofo, I will talk all day long, yet ironically I hate long phone calls...anyway..my point is..

these past few weeks I have tried the "let me be a little reserved" as I believe you should always experiment with yourself. And so, I decided to stay quiet a little, I didn't say shit in class. I simply looked around to see whether anyone actually talks. Nah, nope no one. Of course there's the occasional one or two people who are always answering the question (that gets on my tits), but on the whole..no one. No one. No one says shit.

Then I wonder why.. why why why, could it be they are shy...but you are here to study journalism..
could it be they know the answer but don't want to say anything because that would seem uncool...erm but if looking cool is prioritized over your study then that's a bit weird...
could it be they're hungover?...okay fair enough
scared of whether your answer is wrong?...who cares man, everyone else isn't right all the time,
language barrier?...well your arse is in England now so fix up
sore throat?...yeah right
want to let everyone else do the talking?...how will you let your self be heard then?
bored of this long list?...yeah so am I.

But see, I simply don't understand, I can't stand silence in a room full of people, that's just wrong. I mean I know of some people that are so vocal on Twitter and what have you...but when it comes to real life...your personality is dandruff.

That's all I wanted to address, other than that I have so much work on my shoulders right now, so till next time...peace out.

It's 09.43am

Every time you think you are going right just know that there's a motherfucking left somewhere, ready to spit on your journey.

You're thinking, 'But is it that deep?' Well yeah? It is. There's no time to write five paragraphs on ways to guide you through self-help bullshit, so instead I'll just keep writing about situations where you can relate.

It seems as though you have made a friend who wants to get closer and closer, but really all you're thinking is "get out of here". 

You have a massive workload and you think you'd do it bit by bit, but you leave it to the last minute praying it'll sound good anyway.

You'll get that text after 56 days of staring at your phone and it will read 'I miss you', bitch are you kidding.

You soon realise maybe you are beginning to invest time in the wrong things, well then just change it?

BTW I ain't moaning about nothing, it's what I have seen around me that is making me agitated. Cannot stand being around pessimism, always negativity and people having to say shit about you. Keep talking though, I actually love it. I once (2012) walked past two people talking about me and I pretended I didn't hear a thing. Why pretend? There is no time to pretend about shit like that. Just simple rudeness is getting on my tata's, it's even more confusing when you're left in a place when you actually start to convince yourself 'maybe it's me?' get the fuck outta here, it ain't you. In a way, people who you associate yourself with, make you. 

"Focus on you." - I need this tattooed on me..like on my eyelids or something.