Why listening to Jhene Aiko made me think

Somehow I'm really connected to Jhene Aiko and I'm thinking about why.

Hmm, it's getting sunnier these days isn't it? I am sure the weather effects ones mood. Urgh, I should be getting on with so many tasks right now, I have an essay, two presentations, an evaluation and a review. The idea of writing within journalism is a daunting one, I like to talk...but putting speech into words is quite tricky. Like right now I am writing how I think...and the way I think is so random. The sentences that you have read so far don't connect at all, in fact if I gave this to my old English teacher she would re-boot her computer straight away.

Things are looking busy these days actually, and this isn't just work wise, just in general. Yeah, it's so obvious to say 'there aren't enough hours in the day' but that's not what I mean. I think there are enough hours..it's just the way you use them. At the minute I am using it wisely..but it's a slow process. I'm an immediate person when it comes to change...sometimes I prefer change to hit me like a brick wall, because that way I have no time to think about getting over it? You know what I mean.
 (ah shit I think I am going off in a tangent.)

But...you know what, I'm not going to re-write everything because to be honest that wouldn't be a true reflection of me. I don't go back and erase things..that's just weird. I like flaws because that's what makes you different. I mean if we were all perfect, there'd be no substance, and that would mean we all end up liking the same shit and hating the same shit. We'd become minions of conformity.

Yes. I got it. I think right now I am fixated on the idea of going out my way to 'do me'. That sounds crazy right? I'm bored of lefts and rights..I want to jump of the path and make my own because the path's too long and boring for me.

I don't know whether you can relate, but if so I just think concentrating on yourself should come first sometimes.

Okay, back to my chocolate digestives and my work. Bless.

Spark of Emotion

He actually misses me damn what a pity, I can't get over how much that has hit me.
I think I sit here and just wonder 'does he really miss me?'
Or is it just a front like that usual mystery.
How I sit here and think if things were different,
How I sit here and think is that the love I miss?
Tears actually form as I sit here and think this
Cos I know I'm just human, and I have no witness
To understand my pain, and what I went through
from my sister crying and making me cry too
for so long I have wondered if I will get that love
the one where you hold on forever, but that ain't enough
for some people, pride and image is what they claim
to seek, as I learnt exposing my feelings was the shame
What a shame. Who to blame. Perhaps we're all just the same.

Panama - How we Feel

I am lost in this song. Listen and watch it, you'll understand.

Got you didn't it?

Poetic

I know I can be quiet but

My head does all the talking 

Never one to judge but

What can you do when they're staring 

Had a busy life then 

It just turned into dreaming

Wondering where I'll be in 5

Years is what I keep thinking

Family will always be there

But I just keep running

From all the whispers and laughing 

The screaming and barking

Want a hug in the cold but

They're too busy loving

Constantly smiling at life

But don't they get my feeling?

Always one to open up but

When I do the doors keep closing

What light at the end of the tunnel?

When I'm the candle that's burning

10 seconds ago these

Words were on my ceiling 

And now they're sitting on lines

As I stand at my window, glass steaming.