Darling

Innocent Asma, who wouldn't dare question anything and would always be corrected.

Innocent me, who always said "yes" to make you feel that I was absolutely down for you, no matter what.
Innocent me. As if you was to rest your hand on my shoulder and whisper

"It's okay. I understand you. You're not alone."

Innocent me, who thought having you was euphoria.

Stupid me, for sharing my silence with you.

Stupid me, for crying when we were new.

Stupid me, for seeing the warmth of truth in your eyes.

Stupid me, for wearing outfits which you dared to rip apart to resurrect your fantasies.

Stupid me, for giving you my ear as well as my heart when you laughed at giving me your hand.

Stupid me, for believing you had a dream that married mine.

Stupid you, for staring at a screen, revealing your masquerade of emotions as you swapped feelings with another.

Stupid you, for calling me strong, it wasn't because of you.

Stupid you, for requesting flowers, my flowers won't make your soul beautiful.

In return for loyalty...deception.

In return for honesty...promises.

It was all an act. I realise now I was just playing the part.

So thank you for releasing me from the shackles of your pride.

You weren't worth it darling, you weren't worth it at all. 

Burning desire to write a poem

He just wanna smoke and fuck, so I guess we both speak Hebrew

Now he talking my language, but would it work when I ain’t Jew?

Rents due late, and so’s your love when we come through,

In due time we’ll cash all these memories

Stack all these memories, in my mind bank full of sanity

But your back’s turned to face me,

Face screwed up, back stabbing, always injure me

Injuries that A&E can’t stitch up, see...

The threads getting thicker, my words are getting quicker,

The bloods just iron bars, pump fist I'm a prisoner

In this dark world, I walk but run to find cover

Under my cover, stand cover when my eyes close,

The only warmth was your hand and now it’s the fire that’s under me

Ash in my eyes, sting from the morgue

Where our past lays, ashes to ashes,

No dust to dust,

Cos the dust is in my lungs, I suffocate in the prison,

But the bars break-up like us,

Like me, like you, like what the fuck

Fuck feelings, flippin' weight on my sanity,

And your carcass rots as I run free. 

-Asma Qureshi

Poetic

I know I can be quiet but

My head does all the talking 

Never one to judge but

What can you do when they're staring 

Had a busy life then 

It just turned into dreaming

Wondering where I'll be in 5

Years is what I keep thinking

Family will always be there

But I just keep running

From all the whispers and laughing 

The screaming and barking

Want a hug in the cold but

They're too busy loving

Constantly smiling at life

But don't they get my feeling?

Always one to open up but

When I do the doors keep closing

What light at the end of the tunnel?

When I'm the candle that's burning

10 seconds ago these

Words were on my ceiling 

And now they're sitting on lines

As I stand at my window, glass steaming.