On the road to freedom

It isn't everyday nag, sigh and give up with my mother and I. In fact today I feel extremely proud of her and I shall explain why.

Perhaps patriarchy doesn't play a huge part in modern families in Britain. But, it exists. With consideration to traditional home values in our South Asian culture it's twisting and  turning every so slightly in Britain. Western ideas have indeed awoken new paths for women such as, working, breaking the breadwinner stereotype and smashing the glass ceiling and thriving from factors like education. Women like Nawal El Saadawi and Monica Ali exist, but I want to focus on a woman that I am very much connected to. 

And here I turn to my mother. She flew to the UK at 14 with no understanding of the English language let alone the Western dress code.

Tailoring is also one of her passions and here she is stood at the age of 20, representing 70's print with her brother.

My granddad, her father, migrated to West Ham to work and earn to give back to his family in Pakistan. But, he later thought it was wise to introduce his family to Britain and arranged for them to move here; this was convenient financially and socially. My grandfather, an orphan, wanted to make a change. He built a mosque himself and decided to travel the world. From Germany, Switzerland, Holland, France, Spain, Ghana, America, India, Saudi Arabia, Bangladesh and of course Pakistan. 

Back to my mother. She dropped out of education at the age of 16, cared for my Nan at home whilst her two brothers worked and earned money alongside my granddad. Then she got married and 5 years later, me, I, yes the one and only was born.

Leave me alone. Clearly I stuck to my individualism from a very young age. 

The first four years of my life consisted of wearing dungarees, watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and learning how to say "Michael Schumacher" without stuttering. 

After having four more siblings, life became hectic and family came first no matter what for my mother.

"What did you want to be when you were older?"

"I dreamed of becoming a doctor ever since I can remember. But y'know..." she laughed "life happened."

I love hearing that sentence, I know it didn't happen but it's the dream that brings a silly smile on my face.

Why I'm proud of her? 

Well...I love seeing her doing something for herself. She's so selfless it sometimes breaks my heart to think she doesn't have any leisure time! But when she does...it brings me so much joy! Like, seeing her drive! That's more independence than the average Arab princess in the Middle East.

Today I looked into her eyes and said "come let's drive somewhere."

Her face screamed, no. But I like to think persuading, motivating and luring are my biggest strengths. So, I didn't give up and hell yeah we sat in her car. I was ready. I knew she felt the rush. The kids are at school and it's just me and her. Freedom baby! Engine started, windows down, sun, songs and smiles. That was it. But it gave me great pleasure to push her towards independence. You have to break boundaries. She was alive. That's the beauty of freedom. 

So yeah, fuck you patriarchy. My mother drove on the open roads of kuffar Britain, wearing bright colours and shat rainbows on every stereotype that poisoned her independence. 

What a woman.

Spray it, don't say it

I was supposed to look over the shop floor until I saw a book displayed in a cabinet and 'shawty went in'. I indulged in Banksy's revolutionary riddles and staple stencils. From political persecution to  adorable anarchy. His art speaks to me.

SEE WHAT I MEAN?!

I was about to start on a portrait of my own. But Banksy makes me want to switch things up a bit. The quote below took over the majority of my brain and stayed there until I got home and united with my laptop.

“There are four basic human needs; food, sleep, sex and revenge.” ― Banksy

Food:

Yeah my relationship with food is amazing. I think about the fucker every second. Food keeps you going doesn't it, it's that little devil voice inside you telling you *you are hungry* and in 5 seconds flat you find yourself scoffing calories, saturated fats, sugars and ten years down the line...you are diabetic. *shrugs* My addictions; coffee, cake, nuts, granola bars, pineapple, dried mango, fish and chips, green tea, and a massive war between Kitkat's and Snickers. mmmm yeah they all hit the spot.

Sleep:

Okay, I'm not a big fan of sleep. Maybe that's because I sleep really really really late and even if I am in bed early my eyes don't like to close untill 00:20am. I have no idea how my sleep pattern will fix itself before uni starts again, I'll adjust. I dream every night. And I always dream about twenty things at once!!! If only I remember what I actually dreamt about and whether it had any meaning to my life. If I remember them, I Google the meaning. Go on judge me. It's not about believing what you read, it's just....okay it's exactly that. Once I dreamt that I was on John Legends tour bus (that was no pun shutup) and I was literally talking to him about his music. *sighs*

Sex:

I'm sick and tired. Just sick and tired of seeing people in my year with babies. Babies galore. Scans, left right and center of my Facebook newsfeed, even if I don't have them as a fucking friend someone has gone and liked a scan picture haven't they! Now look, it's good, embrace your genitals with your "loved ones" or the bloke next door but don't moan about not being ready, not having enough benefits and not being able to top-up because you want to have a quick word with Jeremy Kyle. Don't do it. If you can handle all that, by all means, laugh. Laugh some more, enjoy life and love your children! But there's just something inside me that doesn't agree with Facebook baby boom just to tell everyone that your vagina is now open, fragile and abandoned by your baby daddy. Do I think about sex?...get out of here like I'm going to tell you about my erotic fantasies, who are you, Idris Elba?

Revenge:

You could argue, revenge is a calculated plan of action to stab someone in the back if they've stabbed yours. But I mean...is it worth it? It's like you see the whole Gaza conflict, Hamas fighting because Israel started it, Isreal not backing down because Hamas will continue to inflict danger on them. Like, shut up. Sit down and discuss what's the issue here. Obviously, that is now calm due to the ceasefire and political peace talks but it doesn't mean war stops there. There's internal wars. We all have them (okay if you don't, I certainly do). You decide over time, you dislike someone, then you see them in person and you tell yourself that actually...why let someone make you so bitter like that. Forgiveness gets you places that revenge cannot.