I have been sat here crossing off so many people that I feel sick by the reality of what I am actually doing. Now, don't get me wrong, the soul purpose of the app is to dig whoever you want and get wet when your phone screen lights up to tell you "you have a MATCH".
Let me tell you my story.
So I'm sat in my living room with my three other friends and I am on the app store downloading Tinder. It'll be a laugh right? Why not. Okay, so I now have to go on Facebook because my current profile picture was not cutting it. Finally, I upload a buff picture and voila. I have entered the world of Tinder.
Right...so it's been 2 hours and I haven't actually matched anyone apart from my three friends LOL.
Suddenly I come across this guy, who looks racially ambiguous, 21 and good looking. Ayeee.
Fast forward. It's now the day after and I am sat waiting for my future manager to hurry the fuck up and ask me all the questions in the world for this weekend job that I was desperate for. I didn't get it. Anyway...
My phone lights up. It's a match. It's that guy. He says "What's good".
This convo fi dead.
Surprisingly over the course of five days conversations and emotions started brewing. He was an art student, I liked art! I liked slow jamz and so did he. I guessed his favourite model; David Gandy. He guessed which uni I went to. We always talked, always. We had phone calls where he was nervous and sat through silences lol. Eventually we couldn't wait to meet up one day.
Surprisingly over the course of five days conversations and emotions started brewing. He was an art student, I liked art! I liked slow jamz and so did he. I guessed his favourite model; David Gandy. He guessed which uni I went to. We always talked, always. We had phone calls where he was nervous and sat through silences lol. Eventually we couldn't wait to meet up one day.
(Yeah, you're probably listing all the possible consequences in your head, trust me so was I.)
It's the day before we will eventually meet and I am sat in Chicken Cottage with my two friends. All of a sudden I get a phone call. This guy is telling me he's at my university and thought he'd just let me know.
Okay.
Well damn. This is a bit sudden. So of course as we had mutual feelings. (I thought.) I may as well take this opportunity to see the guy in person. I told my friends and with excitement we drove off to uni.
Whilst I'm sat in the car, I'm angry because he feels a bit invasive. I'm nervous because it feels like he wanted to catch me off guard. I'm excited that possibly he was eager to see me. I'm happy because now I can see whether the chemistry exists. It seemed to good to be true.
Well damn. This is a bit sudden. So of course as we had mutual feelings. (I thought.) I may as well take this opportunity to see the guy in person. I told my friends and with excitement we drove off to uni.
Whilst I'm sat in the car, I'm angry because he feels a bit invasive. I'm nervous because it feels like he wanted to catch me off guard. I'm excited that possibly he was eager to see me. I'm happy because now I can see whether the chemistry exists. It seemed to good to be true.
What if I'm on catfish?
My friends stayed in the car and watched as I walked up to embrace my Tinder Romeo.
Yeah, he said he was 5'11...nah don't think so. But his eyes glistened in the light and his smile was warm. The conversation was smooth and beneath the layers of sickly sweet I couldn't help but choke on reality.
Something didn't feel right. He was nice. But Tindering, texting, calling and the meeting a stranger in 5 days. Too surreal for my instincts. Call me Drake but I have trust issues and my gut was in knots.
Anyway, I brushed myself off and obviously got gassed when I got home. My friends constantly teasing me like...."ayeeeee Is that you yeah?" I was asking myself the same question.
So it's finally our day! We were going to meet at midday outside Green Park station and he would ring me before hand. I got dressed, hair and make-up on 10.
And I waited and waited and waited. No message, no calls. No nothing. Then I called on private and his sister picked up.
Tinder Romeo blocked me.
He blocked my calls and didn't see or respond to my messages. I thought something had happened. I honestly let myself think that this guy could be in trouble. What if he had lost his phone? Or didn't get home safe?
I should have rang Drake to hit the studio.
I was officially Miss Havisham of 2014. Hell no was I gonna stay in and let this get to me, so I went out shopping. :)
I was officially Miss Havisham of 2014. Hell no was I gonna stay in and let this get to me, so I went out shopping. :)
I hate shopping.
It's about 5 now. Like the investigative journalist I am...I checked his instagram and he had posted a picture of himself. He's alive. Oh so he is safe. He didn't lose his phone. Lol.
It's about 5 now. Like the investigative journalist I am...I checked his instagram and he had posted a picture of himself. He's alive. Oh so he is safe. He didn't lose his phone. Lol.
"Keep smiling"-Bridesmaids
This emotional roller coaster wasn't even worth my eyebrows on flick and waterproof mascara after all. I let myself believe that this guy was just a normal genuine person after my own heart (pussy).
Took me 24 hours to get over it because it was hard to disconnect from the emotional reality of it all. But this isn't to say I'm sad, I'm just glad I went through this. And I hope he loses his phone and karma causes his balls to malfunction.
This emotional roller coaster wasn't even worth my eyebrows on flick and waterproof mascara after all. I let myself believe that this guy was just a normal genuine person after my own heart (pussy).
Took me 24 hours to get over it because it was hard to disconnect from the emotional reality of it all. But this isn't to say I'm sad, I'm just glad I went through this. And I hope he loses his phone and karma causes his balls to malfunction.
*laughs at self whilst Patrick my lecturer bangs on about government funding*
For me bae is out there...just not online.
*deletes app*
~Karma is a bitch? well just make sure that bitch is beautiful~
