Just activating the writing muscle. Please, get comfy.
Mind.
"I remember me sat on him as he lay beneath me and we look at each other in peace. Hands locked perfectly and words marrying the sounds of rap melodies. He taps my nose and I shake my head in embarrassment and laugh at the prospect of this attention. I had to wipe the lipgloss off his tender lips as they cushioned my thumb and I held on to the side of his face. My thumb trembling because of the passion not the nerves. Because it was closure because he was a failure at unclipping the clasp but a successor when he eventually did it.
"I'm bleeding"
"that's supposed to happen" as I stare at the sin stained on his sheet. I didn't imagine it to be this way. I carry on dazing into his eyes and we kissed like animals in sync, our hearts pumping. The lights off now. The TV screen lit up, their mouths moving but no sound. Our hands a mess, I was caged under. He was confident on top. As we breathed into each other we rolled over and over until our bare bodies lay side by side. My leg held on his. It's not sex. It was sharing pleasure as we dismissed our pain for this one moment. Bliss."
Synergy.
"Drink in his hand and arm round my neck I felt the spark of something new. The build up to an attraction but too good to be true. November night, alone intoxicated on my sheets drowning in conversations. Questions after questions the curiosity growing like the mould which is left now. Smiles and thoughts filled the air, my palms sweat in anticipation on my thigh.
"What do you want right now?"
"In life I..."
"No. Right now, in this very moment." And a kiss shut me up. Fire blazed, his body got hotter as his hands searched my dress. My hands holding his face before it falls into my breasts. A pause, curtains drawn, little lights flickering, we remove shoes and his layers and we continue with the hum of RnB soul in our hears. I sat on his lap and we drove far away. I saw the wrapper in his hand and I refused the idea. I slept on his chest and his one night stand left me tucked up in my sheets. I dreaded to see him again. Fast forward. Stood beneath a storm of lights as a band plays on stage, "I still have a few films in mind" my mind, heart, body and soul stood still."
Artistic.
"A Leo. Promised fire and a passion that I couldn't resist. The face of someone I'd lie to. An accent that left me asking him to repeat everything again and again. I stood outside Westfield shopping centre and waited. Next thing I'm on a dark street with my lips massaging his. Our first kiss was inside the club, we danced closely and security only stopped us three times. An engineer was his prospects. Mine were to get out of this sticky situation before I start lying to myself. On his Arsenal sheets we flick through his most wonderful drawings of portraits and a tattooed figure was his next challenge. A unique mind that wanted to create a master piece with me. The flirting was distracted by my fascination with someone else. I lived the moment nevertheless, Real played as I stared into nothingness.
"Would you ever visit South Africa?" "Yes."
He burnt his foot on the radiator twice. Clumsy man. My heart felt uncertain but my body wasn't. The thought of water- sex, Your favourite colour- Personality, animal- your attraction. Mine was calm, black and a lion. A two week silence and that was it. Over."
Emojis.
"American Boy as he sat on my chair resting his elbows on my desk. The first time we were in a room together. The face spoke a foreign language. And I'd do anything to be fluent. But seeing through to his heart a wall of ego stood between me and his romance. To ponder now is easy. I knew every word to the song but not every word of his sentences. Awkward silences but comfortable in his arms as we lay and watch the screen. Tight fit so I thought "what next?" Intoxicated on MD, 15% of what happened was only remembered. I can't remember our first kiss but I remember our last. As he slept my fingers entranced by his beauty and they touched every corner of his face to his neck and his chest. My lips quivered. Only a beam of light came through my curtains, the blanket a mess our clothes in a hurricane beneath our storm. My nails buried inside his back and I gasped my pleasure. Fast forward. We stood outside Leicester Square station after I gave him a book for his future. My arms swung in the awkward goodbye between us and I kissed hard, leaving a tinge of purple. His hand on my right hip and I let go of this medley and left with thoughts of "stupid me", "oh well" and "this is defo the last time isn't it."
